What do you choose not to care about?
Striving for excellence comes with a price
Being impeccable at everything is only possible if your notion of everything is limited. You can be a straight-A student, because that requires perfection "only" in a handful of things. But beware of this sense of perfection creeping into your expectations beyond such environments.
Though you might think a PhD is the same, it is not—and neither are most (all?) knowledge work jobs and even beyond. The geniuses of history serve as a reminder: you might admire the visionary thinking of Steve Jobs or Thomas Edison, but that is only part of the package. You cannot have that without the downsides: Steve Jobs was infamous for how badly he treated employees, and Thomas Edison also wasn't the epitome of goodwill (keyword: Tesla).
You might say that these geniuses chose not to care about the above. The point is that this is necessary to be outstanding in something1 . So,
what are the things you choose not to care about?
This doesn't mean that you need to be a jerk. But you might decide, even if temporarily, that you don't engage in office gossip, don't follow celebrity news. Or you take harder decisions such as scaling down physical activity, volunteering, or neglecting one skill to master another. There is always a compromise. It's up to you what you choose.
Note that I wrote outstanding, and not perfect. This nuance was pointed out to me by a coach, and I took this lesson to heart
I truly think your issues represent a particular and new category on Substack: refined bursts of insight, each packed with meaning and usually centered around a single, powerful idea, conveyed with striking clarity and precision. I’m always impressed by what you write! Thank you for your sharp, straight-to-the-point reflections!